Twins

The girls leave for Austria in a few days, and we are having dinner. Out of nowhere – we may have been talking about Niki & Britta’s cleanliness and tidiness – Niki says that Britta will have to come by Niki’s dorm room once a week to clean it (insinuating that Britta is the cleaner of the two).

I was taken aback! I looked at Britta for a reaction, but saw none.

My distraction was due to this being the first time that either Niki or Britta mentioned life after…Niki or Britta. I had previously pondered how college might work, and could easily imagine that they insist (to themselves, to us, to potential colleges) that they are a team sport and you can only take one if you agree to take the other.

The next day after Niki’s comment I asked Britta what she thought about it, and she just shrugged. It seemed like she was more distracted by the thought of cleaning up after Niki, versus living separate from Niki.

I guess it’s a good thing that they (at first blush) are OK with separation – makes what will almost certainly have to happen eventually more manageable. Still, how it was articulated was so…ordinary. “No big deal, Papa”.

I spoke with you girls today, me in Reno for some errands, you both in Salzburg, and you told me this wonderfully funny story that I have to recount here even though I suspect you’ll remember it for the rest of your lives.

You both decided to separate your money; until now you had always combined your currency, indifferent to who had how much (although it’s very likely you both received and therefore had the exact same amount). You divided the money in half, and then for some reason put each of your halves in 2 different wallets (I think one was for most of the money, the other for a little bit of money if you were going to the store and you didn’t want to take all your cash – a very smart move, BTW).

You both agreed to hide your individual wallets in your shared bedroom, without the other knowing where. What’s funny is what wasn’t said – “I don’t trust you” – but really I think it was simply playing around.

Niki hides her wallets first. But then, before Britta hides her’s, Niki hides the phone to record what Britta does. Now Niki later says the point of recording was to make sure Britta doesn’t find Niki’s wallet, but it certainly does sound like Niki wants to know where Britta hides her wallets.

Niki recording what Britta does is just. too. funny. Brilliant, even.

Niki goes upstairs, Britta comes downstairs to hide her wallets. In the process of looking for a place to hide the wallet she discovers the phone, recording!

Just. Too. Funny.

Britta stops the recording, deletes it, starts it again, and films herself giving Niki a thumbs up.

Britta returns upstairs, and Niki says she’s going downstairs to make sure she remembers where she hid her wallets (in fact she wants to check the phone).

While Niki is downstairs Britta realizes she deleted the video but didn’t empty the digital trash, so the video is still on the phone. Britta runs downstairs only to catch Niki trying to hide the phone that she was looking at.

You both come clean with each other, after a good laugh, and decide to hide the wallets with each other’s knowledge.

Now, best of all, here are the videos. Enjoy this trip back in time, girls.

Britta hiding her wallets

Niki checking camera

In 4th grade Niki and Britta were lucky enough to have Mr. Dave Goggen as their teacher. He was a legend amongst his past students; everyone spoke so very highly of him. One big way he stood apart from other teachers, from the student perspective, was that he gave no homework. He explained his motivation to parents at the Parent-Teacher meeting to start the school year, but really his legendary status went beyond a lack of homework. He was engaging, he was calm, he was motivated, and he was always present, always mindful. I can easily imagine Niki and Britta having tangibly fond recollections of Mr. Goggen, well into their later years.

For reasons I’m not sure of, Niki and Britta wrote a letter to Mr. Goggen around September 2019. He would be retiring soon (maybe that’s why they wrote the letter), and as Niki and Britta were in Austria struggling to catch and keep up with their German speaking classmates Niki and Britta were even more nostalgic about 4th grade and the ease and fun of the entire school year. Mr. Goggen replied to their note with this:

Education, above and beyond the academic, as it should be.

Date:  	Mon, September 9, 2019 10:07 pm
Subject:  	On our way to school

Hi papa this is Britta, me and Niki started school yesterday. It turns out we will
be having 8 teachers!!!!!!! Math, English, Biology, P.E, Music, History, Latin, And
German!!!! Biology is soooo hard because we did not study that subject in Tahoe. We
meet a while group of friends yesterday and we even made 2 friends that we now from
kindergarten and gymnastics!!! 
Will email later Ombudsmann Tischplatte

What to do…

Last weekend were the end of season U10 ski championships at Squaw for the twins.

Thursday was Big G; Britta ended in 27th place, Niki was .4 seconds behind in 33rd. Apparently since Britta didn’t get a medal, Niki was OK that Britta had beater her.

Friday was Giant Slalom; Britta medaled with 6th place, while Niki was 9.71 seconds behind in 30th place.

Saturday was slalom with stubbies; Britta medaled with 9th place, while Niki was 2.06 seconds behind in 17th place.

Sunday was PSL PDS; Britta medaled with 12th place, while Niki was 2.45 seconds behind in 31st place.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Heartbreaking. Not only had Niki lost to Britta every race; not only had Britta medaled 3 times; but Niki didn’t even medal once, as a sort of consolation. After her first stubby run on Saturday Niki was in 8th place, well ahead of Britta. But her second run was too slow, bumping her out of medal contention.

Heartbreaking.

Niki really took it tough. When she was with other friends (all of which had done worse than Niki) she was in a great mood. It was only when she was with Britta that her disappointment prevented her from being happy for Britta.

Niki pleaded through tears that she had trained hard, was taking it seriously, wanted so badly to do well and really tried her best…it was a delicate time for us, since we needed to compliment and congratulate Britta (who kept saying “I’m so proud of myself”, but always in a soft tone so Niki wouldn’t hear) while at the same time acknowledging Niki’s disappointment.

Niki insisted all weekend long that Britta was better than her at everything, and nothing we said would contradict her conclusions.

What a bummer. You want so much for your children, to be successul at everything they set their mind to, but in the end it’s up to them. And at 9 years old, they are starting to figure that out. No room for bullshit.

http://lifeofannika.com/Niki/year/9/images/U10Championships/

http://lifeofannika.com/Britta/year/9/images/U10Championships/

Niki, Britta, and Alice were ice skating at the Resort at Squaw Creek about a week before their 9th Birthday. Niki fell, and Alice plowed into Niki from behind, accidentally hitting the back of Niki’s head (Niki was wearing a knit cap) with the point of her skate.

Britta, who was pretty shaken up upon seeing this, ran to get Mama (I was not there). Britta was pretty hysterical.

When Andrea got there, Niki looked alright. But after rubbing the back of her head with her hand underneath the knit cap, Niki’s hand was completely bloody.

Niki lost it, but Britta lost it even more. At one point, Britta says to Mama through the tears:

“If Niki dies you are going to have to put me down.”

Classic. After almost 9 years of spending nearly every moment together, they can’t imagine life without the other. The bond is something to behold, as there are few comparable relationships in human nature. We should all be so lucky.

In the end, Niki was fine. No stitches, no headache, and we didn’t have to put Britta down.

First, for historical perspective.

As of September 2015, Niki and Britta had slept every night of their lives together in one room.

In a whirlwind move that was poorly managed by me, an introductory conversation on a Friday night (September 4th 2015) about moving my office out of the house resulted in my doing just that 2 days later. The goal, purpose, and result was to give Niki and Britta their own space, their own bedroom, their own sanctuary.

Which was only partially successful; they still slept together each night in Britta’s bedroom, which is still where all their clothes were.

Fast forward to November 2016, and Niki is taking more of an interest in her bedroom, which had been mostly disregarded for the past 14 months. She decides she wants to sleep in her own bed, which is sporting a new mattress from IKEA.

Sunday, November 20th, 2016: Niki climbs in her own bed, Britta in her own bed, lights go out, and Niki jumps out and runs into bed with Britta, both girls giggling.

Monday, November 21st, 2016: Niki climbs in bed with Britta, lights go out.

Niki: Britta, is it OK if I sleep in my bed?
Britta: (tired, and slightly sick) Yes.

Niki jumps out of Britta’s bed, runs to her bedroom and hops in bed. Lights out. It’s quiet.

Niki: Britta are you sad?
Britta: (Tired, but responds immediately) No.
Niki: Britta are you lonely?
Britta: (Tired, but responds immediately) No.
Niki: Britta are you scared?
Britta: (Tired, but responds immediately) No.
Niki: Britta are you tired?
Britta: (Tired, but responds immediately) Yes.

It’s quiet.

Niki: Britta are you sad?
Britta: (Tired, but responds immediately) No.
Niki: Britta are you lonely?
Britta: (Tired, but responds immediately) No.
Niki: Britta are you scared?
Britta: (Tired, but responds immediately) No.
Niki: Britta are you tired?
Britta: (Tired, but responds immediately) Yes.

I tell a story about a flower and they fall asleep.

Of course, in the morning I awake to find both girls in our bed, but a milestone has been reached. A little funny to watch it play out, but a little melancholy to see it happen. The girls will turn 9 in less than 3 weeks.

Whenever I bring the twins to bed, I tell them a story. Fiction on the spot. Sometimes they will provide input, large or small, a community effort. The challenge for me are two: come up with a good story, and don’t fret about reality.

Case in point. Last night the input from the twins was simply “a submarine”. For inspiration I thought of Jacques Cousteau, National Geographic. The characters, as is the case most of the time, would be two young girls. Maybe they make their own submarine? But out of what materials? Do they take it into a pool? The ocean? How do they get it to the ocean? What is their goal?

The questions came up in seconds, the answers took a little longer. Or, shall I say, it took a little longer to realize the questions were unnecessary. Yes, the girls, make their own submarine, but the only details as to materials were two school chairs and a bicycle for propulsion. Of course they take it into the ocean; and the details of how they get it there are irrelevant (“so Nancy and Pamela brought their submarine to the ocean, and climbed in between the crashing of waves”). There is no goal; it’s just simple adventure (they end up at a small island with lizards and birds everywhere, only to realize after lunch that they forgot to anchor their submarine and it started to float away).

When finished, the girls were still wake (often times they fall asleep) and both suggested that this story was one of the best ever. A reminder, that I need continually, is that at this wonderful age it’s not the details that matter.

Britta lost her first tooth; 11/26/13. After the tooth was pulled, she didn’t want to let go of it, and wanted to show it to everyone.

Niki, who also had a loose tooth, was beside herself. Not because she wanted to be the first to lose a tooth; rather: “I love my teeth and I don’t want to lose them”.

Britta was entirely excited about the Tooth Fairy, and woke early to find $2 under her pillow.

Niki lost her first tooth on 11/29/13. It was dangling there for a few days, so finally I easily pulled it out when she wasn’t expecting it. She didn’t cry; but she also didn’t fuss over her tooth, or even mention the tooth fairy. She’s outside playing now, and has not seen or asked to see her tooth since it was pulled.