October, 2012

I think back to how I viewed my Dad while growing up. He would come home visibly tired; you could tell he had worked hard, and this made a positive impression on me (later, when I worked with him over the summers, I was able to verify this). When he got home us kids would fight over who could take off this work boots, who could pick (ouch!) his “ingrown” whiskers, who could sit on his lap, etc. While I didn’t really understand his work, as a worker I really respected him.

Flash forward to today. My entire professional life is at the computer, at home. The kids know this, they see this, but they don’t really comprehend it. Annika knows all about computers (she has an iPad now) – they are about playing games. How can the girls respect the work I do in this case, if they figure I must be playing all day long? Seems impossible; it’s a detriment to working at home. It’s not that they will learn to disrespect me, but rather just lack respect. Not their fault.

My failures always seem pretty clear in hindsight. Take #47 for example.

It’s a Thursday (school) night, about 8:45. Annika is getting ready for bed, so I’m at the computer working. Andrea is on the phone – in Annika’s room! – with her parents. It’s my excuse, but I found this irritating for Andrea to be on the phone (her parents called) this late on a school night in Annika’s bedroom.

Annika comes downstairs – she doesn’t know what to do – and asks me about multiplication.

This is where I failed.

This is what I did: we went over a multiplication problem at my computer, then she walked away and I continued working. Later (5 mins) I notice she is on the couch with Kino, waiting for Mama to get off the phone. I (irritatingly, my work is being interrupted) get up and say “let’s go to bed Annika, I’ll go with you”. She starts to cry, says she wants to go to bed with Mama, and it goes downhill from there.

This is what I should have done: seen that she is bored/lost, I should have stepped away from the computer. Do some math. Then gently suggested her and I go lie down in her bed. This would have been controlled, positive, paced slowly, and quality time.

My biggest issue in Salzburg – bigger than in Tahoe, although the problem is there too – is that I am half occupied when I am at my work desk, and in Salzburg my work desk is in the middle of everything. I need to go there when I need to work, and not be there when I can’t/shouldn’t work. If there is contention for my attention, I need to step away from the desk. Otherwise I will fail.

Great so far! Spent a day at the Halenbad in Birschesgarten; Britta really wants to take swimming lessons!

Made it to Oktoberfest at the last day, which was fun. Accidentally took the first class train there, then rained a bit during the day, but the girls were troopers.

The girls saw their first circus (with cows and horses instead of elephants and lions, but all good!).

Twins are doing school from ~8:30-12:30; and gymnastics once a week. They seem to love it all. The first few weeks they rode their own bike, since we didn’t have the connector for the bike trailer. Now Andrea takes them by bike each day.

Annika has school from 8:00-1:00 (12:00 on Tues); since the second day of school she walks there herself, usually with friends.

Taking ballet (started with one school but now attending another); plays irregularly on a boys soccer team; and also gymnastics, irregularly. Gym is too bad – I think the level is higher than she is used to and she’s intimidated and aware that most of the girls are better than her, but we want her to stick with it. They expect her to attend 3 days a week – for 3 hours each time! Can’t manage that, but we’ll try.

Altogether the girls have literally spent less time in the car these 8 weeks in Salzburg than they usually spend in one week in Tahoe. Excellent!

Mostly a sweetheart. She loves to clean…each day she is sweeping the floors, raking the leaves, folding the clothes…each morning her and Niki are great about getting up, brushing their hair and teeth, before coming downstairs. She is sensitive like Annika, not as tough as Niki. We went to the circus, where they had a donkey in the show. Britta reached out her arms as the donkey would go by…she really is drawn to them for inexplicable reasons. Really does make you want to go out and get a silly donkey…

Certainly one explanation as to how and why Annika acts these days is due to her still adjusting to a new school, new friends, new environment. But part of it is age, too (see Wonder of Girls cheat sheet, Stage 3). She’s hyper sensitive right now; the (daily) adjustments can throw her for a loop. Annika has met a friend next door, Sophia, who is 2 years older but they get along great. Still, when together I can see Annika acting more like a big girl (wanting privacy, etc). That’s all good; I just have to be there to support her. She’s more resistant now to boundaries than in Tahoe, but again that is the sensitivity. She does still want to please, to excel, to achieve. It’s work for all of us, but it’s good work.

She can be ornery! Starts trouble with Britta, and you can see she enjoys herself. She is independent and content to go her own way. In Salzburg she LOVES to sleep on the hard floor; we’ve waken up in the morning to find Niki in our room, behind our door, fast asleep with only a blanket and pillow. This is likely because when she is on a comfortable mattress, she moves all over the place. She is restless even when she is exhausted!

She’s made an impression at school- a boy named Mateo seems to adore her. When she enters the classroom the routine is to shake hands with the teacher using your right hand. And most mornings Niki offers her left hand, knowing full well that she’s pushing the envelope. Character!