An excerpt from an article about NPD (inspired by the Trump phenomenon).
1) It’s not curable and it’s barely treatable.
2) They will say whatever feels most comfortable or good to themselves at any given time. They will lie a lot, and say totally different things to different people. They won’t care.
3) They can be influenced by making them feel good.
4) Entitlement is a key aspect of the disorder; will likely not observe traditional boundaries; rules don’t apply to them.
5) They only care about themselves and those they view as extensions, like children. People with NPD often can’t understand others as fully human or distinct. They will have no qualms *at all* about stealing everything they can; they won’t view it as stealing but rather as something they are entitled to do.
6) It’s very, very confusing for non-disordered people to experience a disordered person with NPD. While often intelligent, charismatic and charming, they do not reliably observe social conventions or demonstrate basic human empathy.
7) People with NPD often foster competition for sport in people they control; they will probably behave worst toward those closest to them.
9) Whenever possible, do not focus on the narcissist or give them attention.
————————
Symptoms (my view):
1. Deceitful, absent any guilt or remorse
2. Has trouble handling anything that may be perceived as criticism
3. Lack (or even absence) of empathy and remorse
4. Relationships are unfulfilling (therefore no external dependencies)
5. Impulsive
6. Dreamer (“love of life with no regard for the consequences”)
7. Envious of other’s experiences (things they do, things they have)
8. Poor relationships (lack of intensity), possibly unable to relate to others
9. Extremely comfortable being alone
10. Refuses to take responsibility for her actions
11. Highly manipulative
What she is not:
1. Depressed
2. Abusive (drug or alcohol)
3. Dependent on recognition
4. Arrogant (does not require or desire acknowledgment from others)
5. Violent, abusive, or hostile
6. Paranoid
7. Moody
8. Anxious
————————
psychopath – eerie detachment from emotion, lack of conscience or remorse, glibness, and comfort and pride in breaking with laws and social conventions.
narcissist – an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration and a lack of empathy for others.
Antisocial personality disorder, sometimes called sociopathy, is a mental condition in which a person consistently shows no regard for right and wrong and ignores the rights and feelings of others. People with antisocial personality disorder tend to antagonize, manipulate or treat others harshly or with callous indifference. They show no guilt or remorse for their behavior.
Researchers have linked cold blooded behaviors to low levels of cortisol and below-normal function in the amygdala, the portion of the brain that processes fear and other aversive social emotions, like shame.
Magnetic resonance imaging on the brains of adult psychopaths has shown what appear to be significant anatomical differences: a smaller subgenual cortex and a 5 to 10 percent reduction in brain density in portions of the paralimbic system, regions of the brain associated with empathy and social values, and active in moral decision making.
Grandiose narcissists truly believe in their own greatness; they may share the larger “Dark Triad” traits, along with so-called “Machiavellianism” (manipulativeness) and psychopathy (lack of remorse and empathy).
————————
Examples of deception (or simply being silent), big and small:
1. June, 2002 – Sept 2004 – boatloads.
2. Oct 2015 – impulsively buys a $2000 mtn bike (with a check) after getting her hair cut; doesn’t mention it to me
3. Jan 2017 – via a tax statement I learn that she received $8,131 in unemployment benefits for 2016; I had no clue. Her response (verbatim): “I payed it into the apartment in Salzburg and used it for our time in Germany and Christmas presents”. No apology or even faked remorse.
4. Nov 2015 – she wants a christmas gift from H&M for the girls; she complains that a gift card we have can’t be used online. I offer to go to H&M when I am in San Jose for work that next week. She doesn’t respond; I later learn she went ahead and bought it online.
5. Apr 2015 – Neighbors, who I had asked to watch the cats while we were away, call to ask if someone else is watching the cats. I ask Andrea, she has no idea. Later that day Robyn replies to Andrea via a text to say she will stop caring for the cats
Examples of lack of remorse or empathy or consideration:
1. Putting hot plates of food out on the dinner table; girls grab or touch it and burn themselves. She lightly admonishes them for touching a hot plate (how would they know it’s hot??)
2. Dec 2016. Birgit is dealing with cancer, and Andrea has very little information. I look up flights for January and see that they are cheap; I suggest she go to Germany for a week to support her family. She literally does not respond, as if I hadn’t spoken. She stops talking about Birgit from that day forward.
3. She invites literally anyone to come visit us in Salzburg as we plan to live there for a year; one couple takes her up and plans a European trip (buying plane tickets for 5). As the timeframe approaches Andrea discourages them from visiting Salzburg; too much work on her end (her words).
4. When I snore in bed at night, she will hit me in the groin to stop me from snoring.
5. When she leaves the house, she will turn the heat down to 50 (or lower) – regardless if I am still at the house.
6.
