I hate everybote

An anecdote on a Dad’s inability to connect with his daughter…or, more simply, a male’s incompetence.

While hanging out with Annika in her bedroom, Annika showed me an Enemy list she’s compiled (with an invisible ink pen, which is pretty cool). We talked about each kid on her list, and I tried to understand how they have earned their ranking.

I tried to explain the difference between not liking someone, and someone being your enemy. In hindsight this is where the problem occurred; I should have just continued listening, limiting my questions, but I was determined to make this a teaching moment.

Annika, getting frustrated with me, now felt the need to argue her case, that each kid (she focused on Mia at this point) really deserved to be on the list. She ended up in tears, and despite my calm assurances she wanted to be in her room by herself.

Now, as if I hadn’t screwed that up enough, I go upstairs and tell Andrea what has just happened. While retelling the story Annika starts to come upstairs, hears me, and yells out that I’m not supposed to tell anyone.

She ceases to talk with me for a few hours. A few days later I find a note under her bed, where we were talking, which says out of frustration with her Papa “I hate everybote”.

I need to learn when to talk, when to listen, and when to cut my losses. Men really are from Mars.