Attachment theory

An interesting read.

Of course, all of this argues for nurture (vs nature), but yesterday I listened to a 2 hour podcast about how much nature (genetics) affects humans and basically parents really can’t do much wrong (except in the extreme cases). My suspicion is that nurture (shared environment) matters a lot the first few years of life, before nature truly starts to kick in thereafter. But who know’s, it’s complicated.

https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/07/can-an-unloved-child-learn-to-love/612253/

Of special interest is “Insecure Avoidant”:

– does not orientate to their attachment figure while investigating the environment.

– very independent of the attachment figure both physically and emotionally

– does not seek contact with the attachment figure when distressed. Such children are likely to have a caregiver who is insensitive and rejecting of their needs

– The attachment figure may withdraw from helping during difficult tasks and is often unavailable during times of emotional distress.

Insecure-avoidant infants are associated with unresponsive primary care. The child comes to believe that communication of needs has no influence on the mother/father.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_children
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Attachment_in_adults

Dismissive-avoidant
A dismissive-avoidant attachment style is demonstrated by those possessing a positive view of self and a negative view of others.

People with a dismissive style of avoidant attachment tend to agree with these statements: “I am comfortable without close emotional relationships”, “It is important to me to feel independent and self-sufficient”, and “I prefer not to depend on others or have others depend on me.” People with this attachment style desire a high level of independence. The desire for independence often appears as an attempt to avoid attachment altogether. They view themselves as self-sufficient and invulnerable to feelings associated with being closely attached to others. They often deny needing close relationships. Some may even view close relationships as relatively unimportant. Not surprisingly, they seek less intimacy with attachments, whom they often view less positively than they view themselves. Investigators commonly note the defensive character of this attachment style. People with a dismissive-avoidant attachment style tend to suppress and hide their feelings, and they tend to deal with rejection by distancing themselves from the sources of rejection (e.g. their attachments or relationships).