Yet another affair – Data collection

January 28th, 2023 Posted by Papa

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Let me note from the start that I’m open to the accusation or at least general disagreement that my surreptitiously reading Andrea’s texts was wrong, or inappropriate, or inexcusable. My only defense: I had no other recourse. I had no real way to obtain the truth about what was going on and which absolutely concerned me and the girls. The rest of this post hopefully suggests that while I was meticulous, I was also…desperate. For the truth.

So, the first week of November 2022, after Andrea had gone to bed, I checked her phone to read Jack’s texts. However…the entire text string with Jack that I had glanced at that night with Britta had been mysteriously deleted. Sort of a smoking gun, right? Weeks earlier when I was helping Britta with her problem texting the images from Andrea’s phone, Andrea seemed a bit anxious that I had her phone. In general, she always acts anxious when I have her phone or computer (which I rarely have, and only to help Andrea with a technical issue that she has asked my help for). All I can suppose is that sometime after that night with Britta in October, with Andrea knowing there was incriminating evidence to her plans for a divorce (that I knew nothing about) on her phone, she deleted Jack’s entire text history.

I wish I knew then what I know now: I could have verified if she had any deleted texts in the Trash, and if so I could have restored them.

A few weeks went by, with me wondering what in the world was going on behind my back – both about a potential divorce and a possible affair. And I have to repeat again: history has shown me without a doubt that any questions I may have had for Andrea would have been met with a lie; they would not have enlightened me to her plans or thoughts, and she likely would have been more secretive.

By the end of December – and after a very uncomfortable catering job we all worked with Jack over Christmas and Christmas Eve at the Tesla battery factory – I concluded that despite the deletion of Jack’s previous texts I need to look once more. So on December 30 2022, after Andrea had gone to bed, I took another look at her texts with Jack on her phone. These went back to November 8th – the first day of texts after the deletion.

[As an aside, and with complete honesty and openness to being judged, I’ll explain my approach to capturing the texts while making sure Andrea wouldn’t have any clue the next morning. So, in this exact order, this is what I did on her phone].

  1. See what apps are open, and what was opened last. This was important to leave the phone in a state exactly as it was when I began
  2. Make note of which Home Screen the phone was at (again, to end at this Home Screen when I was done)
  3. Go to Settings->Control Center
  4. Add Video Recording to the Control Center (I otherwise didn’t know how to use VR)
  5. Open Messages; open Jack’s messages; go to the start
  6. Begin recording
  7. Scroll slowly down the text strings, all the way to the present day
  8. Stop recording
  9. Air drop the recording to my MAC
  10. Delete the recording from Photos; then delete the recording from the Photo trash
  11. Go to Settings->Control Center
  12. Remove Video Recording from the Control Center
  13. Swipe away (delete) all apps I used, ending back at the last app Andrea had opened
  14. Return to the Home Screen the phone was at originally
I did this on Dec 30th, and what I learned is documented in this string of posts. Stunning.
My emotions after this were back and forth. My initial reaction was self-righteous anger…it certainly had to be a bit personal, but it was also just principle: people should not act so inappropriately. But after a few days I calmed down, and decided I should talk with Jack. But he and I never cross paths, and if I had texted him that would have allowed him to prepare for a conversation. So I thought I’d talk with him, unprompted, at the next TGSR meeting on January 2nd (Jack is handling the catering for the race, so I expected him to be there.) He wasn’t there, in the end.
As I wasn’t able to approach Jack as I had hoped, my curiosity got the best of me so…I checked Andrea’s phone again on Jan 8th 2023.
And then again on January 26th.
My hope is to talk with Jack at the next TGSR meeting on Feb 6th.

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