Yet another affair – deception
An affair is an interesting thing, specific to honesty. By definition an affair is a deceptive lie to those not involved with the affair; but for the 2 that are involved, each is already demonstrating their lack of character so there is no reason for them to trust each other, either.
I’ve already mentioned my speculation that Jack might think our home life is different than it actually is. Here are some more anecdotal texts which helps support that idea via deceptive messaging from Andrea to Jack.
First. Tuesday Dec 13, Andrea has the day off and I plan to backcountry ski with Paul Cushing. Andrea asks if she can come along, which is fine of course. Near the top of Jake’s Peak Andrea asks for a photo of just herself, contemplating Lake Tahoe in the background. I think…weird. You don’t want anyone else in the photo? We get to the top and we do take some pictures together with my phone.
Later that day, however, Andrea mentioned her tour in a text to Jack but leaves the definite impression she was by herself.
Second. On Thursday December 15th Andrea says, oddly, “I have twins tonight” – as if we are already divorced and the girls are going back and forth between us. However, what really happened that night is that we all went together to the High School band performance; Niki & Britta aren’t in band, but they wanted to watch friends who are.
Jack ends with another offer for dinner at his house.
Third. The Sunday that they were supposed to have dinner, Andrea has to cancel as she “got tickets for the nutcracker for today”. Actually, I got tickets for the Nutcracker for all 4 of us – we all went together.
Fourth. On Tuesday Dec 27th, Andrea suggests that she can’t have dinner with Jack since I am leaving for the night which presumably means she has to take care of the girls. Actually, we all went as a family to the Nordic Center to listen to the Olympian nordic skier Hannah Halvorson talk about her competition experiences.
They end with gay humor…speechless.
Fifth. Finally, the weekend of January 23rd the girls are racing Junior National’s in Utah, and Andrea and I decided to go watch last minute. After some back and forth as to which auto to drive we decided on the Sienna (which was the right call, in the end). Andrea’s answer here certainly suggests she went to Utah alone.
So in some odd way, I’m tempted to give Jack some slack. I’ve been on the lying end of Andrea’s fabrications since 2002, so I know how easy it is to be duped. If Jack has been led to believe that our marriage is over (which, to be honest, it is in some ways) and that Andrea is available, he’s not (in his mind) doing anything inappropriate.
And with respect to Andrea’s ability to deceive without any moral conflict whatsoever…it’s amazing (in a very bad and depressing way) to watch. There have been (to include in this post, as well as earlier texts and later texts) references to the Ruby’s, a mountain range in northern Nevada with cat accessible backcountry skiing. Based on more than a few texts Andrea and Jack certainly have plans to go there (it’s far enough that it would be an overnight trip). Today, on the way to the nordic center with the girls, Andrea mentions that she may ski the Ruby’s…with some Argentinians from work. She mentions nothing about me or the girls going. I look her with in the eye for longer than necessary – I’m genuinely trying to telepathically tell her I know the truth, so see if there is any “normal” human guilty reaction, but there is…nothing. Stunning. She can lie without costs, without remorse, without guilt; it’s just a void.
Still later the same day she asks me about some possible plans this summer in Austria for the family. And I’m speechless and dumbstruck: she can concurrently talk and plan about an overnight with Jack, and a family vacation with her family. Andrea continues to expose me to an aspect of human nature that I really never knew existed.
To be continued…
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