Thoughts from the Trifecta

I know I’ve complained before, but the point of this blog is to share my thoughts, so…

It’s summer 2020, I’ve been home for about 7 weeks (after spending 2019-2020 in Salzburg), and you girls are still in Salzburg having much fun I know.

Last week I finished a 6 day float down the Salmon River in Northern Idaho. 10 boats, 24 people including 6 teenagers. The teenagers were having a lot of fun the entire time, kayaking and rafting down the river, and I couldn’t help but think about you three and how much fun something like this would be to do as a family (or as a family within a larger group).

The reality, of course, is that summers in Austria prevent any sort of family summer event. We’ve made use of School Spring Break over the years (Death Valley and Dana Point and Disneyland and Florida) but with one exception (2015 and the houseboat trip to Lake Powell) we’ve never been able to enjoy a summer in the US. The personal investment I’ve made in you girls spending the summer in Austria with Mimi and Opa is important, but like any investment there is a (hidden) cost, too.

It’s a sacrifice I willingly make – and at the risk of sounding terribly pitiful, I’m really the only one making a sacrifice in this regard – but it’s a sacrifice that weighs on me year after year. My time with your lovely ladies is finite, and loosing 16% of my potential time with you each year is a high cost.

I want to think that we can make up for this lost time, post college. Go rafting as a family, visit some National Parks, hike the John Muir trail, etc. And if that happens it will be fun and different (you three being older and more mature) and worthwhile, so that’s what I’m hoping for. That will be my final return on my summer-in-Austria investment.

I spoke with you girls today, me in Reno for some errands, you both in Salzburg, and you told me this wonderfully funny story that I have to recount here even though I suspect you’ll remember it for the rest of your lives.

You both decided to separate your money; until now you had always combined your currency, indifferent to who had how much (although it’s very likely you both received and therefore had the exact same amount). You divided the money in half, and then for some reason put each of your halves in 2 different wallets (I think one was for most of the money, the other for a little bit of money if you were going to the store and you didn’t want to take all your cash – a very smart move, BTW).

You both agreed to hide your individual wallets in your shared bedroom, without the other knowing where. What’s funny is what wasn’t said – “I don’t trust you” – but really I think it was simply playing around.

Niki hides her wallets first. But then, before Britta hides her’s, Niki hides the phone to record what Britta does. Now Niki later says the point of recording was to make sure Britta doesn’t find Niki’s wallet, but it certainly does sound like Niki wants to know where Britta hides her wallets.

Niki recording what Britta does is just. too. funny. Brilliant, even.

Niki goes upstairs, Britta comes downstairs to hide her wallets. In the process of looking for a place to hide the wallet she discovers the phone, recording!

Just. Too. Funny.

Britta stops the recording, deletes it, starts it again, and films herself giving Niki a thumbs up.

Britta returns upstairs, and Niki says she’s going downstairs to make sure she remembers where she hid her wallets (in fact she wants to check the phone).

While Niki is downstairs Britta realizes she deleted the video but didn’t empty the digital trash, so the video is still on the phone. Britta runs downstairs only to catch Niki trying to hide the phone that she was looking at.

You both come clean with each other, after a good laugh, and decide to hide the wallets with each other’s knowledge.

Now, best of all, here are the videos. Enjoy this trip back in time, girls.

Britta hiding her wallets

Niki checking camera

3 month summary
6 month summary
COVID-19, part 1
COVID-19, part 2

Spring, the season of rebirth, was certainly relevant as March began for us. While Annika had long ago found her groove, Niki & Britta were finally finding theirs. Between their friendships with classmates growing stronger, and their confidence with the language improving, they seemed to finally be more consumed with being happy than being stressed. We were all looking forward to our Spring break trip to Greece (arrive in Santorini for a few days, then a ferry to Naxos for a few days, possibly visiting Athens before returning to Austria)….not to be.

As mentioned in the 2nd COVID-19 post, Annika was not happy at the start; the loss of social contact was a big sacrifice for her, more so than for Niki & Britta. But as restrictions (both by the government and family) started to ease up at the end of April, Annika was able to see more of Maria and a few other friends which helped a lot. She seemed mostly happy to not be at school – still disappointing that school didn’t turn out to be as positive of an experience as I was hoping for – and very happy that they cancelled all end of year finals, so she coasted into the last week of school with not a care in the world (although she did complain about significant amounts of homework, it didn’t seem too bad to me). Most impressively, at the end of May she also finished her 2nd semester of online pre-calc with a score of 90% – I was so proud, and silently happy that she really seemed to enjoy math. Once school was out and Annika began to formulate some dreams/plans for her summer, she was in a great mood and fun to be around.

Niki & Britta took things in stride in March and April. Each week they would be hyper focused on some non-stop play-distraction in between homework: one week it was ping-pong, next week the Glasenbach creek, the next week spring planting, the next week the pool, the next week the “new” trampoline…it took them a while to adjust to home-schooling. They would panic once any homework was assigned, and weeks went by without them recognizing that they had significant amounts of free time and there was no need to stress over homework assignments. They returned to school in a modified fashion on May 18; going to school (with masks) M-W-F one week, T-Th the next. They were happy to see friends again, although the masks and school changes (no break times, no PE) really changed things; the girls didn’t seem to completely fall back into the groove that was well formed at the start of March. They did have a friend over a few times in May, and they started going back to LeichtAthletic 2 to 3 times each week which was great to get them away from the house and spending time with other kids. They also began horse riding lessons just down the street, which is a nice respite.

At the end of March a Cisco colleague began a weekday aerobics online session payed for by Cisco specifically for the Swiss/German/Austrian Cisco employees. So every Mon/Wed afternoon at 5:10, and Tue/Thur/Fri morning at 7:20 we enjoyed an hour of different aerobics (strength, stretching, pilates with Caro). In hindsight this was huge for me and my continuing knee recovery. It was a great workout, a great way to consistently stretch which I never do. Aerobics, along with my 90 (GlasenbachKlamm) or 135 (Glasenbach/FagerAlm/ErentrudersAlm) minute walks about 5-6 times each week was mentally and physically essential. The girls never had interest, Andrea did sometimes, but even when alone listening to music or a podcast it was always an enjoyable time with Kino.

For the most part it was OK working at home. I worked at the kitchen table so was easily interrupted, but the work pace did slow down due to COVID-19 economic realities so there really wasn’t any stress. And seeing so much of the girls and my daily exercise allowed me to wake up each morning, happy for what I had.

Disappointments? There are a few, but easily forgotten. I was looking forward to more Salzburg cultural events in the Spring with the girls; more live music weekly at the RockHaus; visiting the Eagles Nest with the girls; and more sauna trips. I was intending to do more traveling with Cisco – definitely Hungary, possibly Lisbon, Brussel’s, or Krakow. And, of course, Greece…

As May ends while Austria is slowly opening up there are no plan for gyms to open (the gym near Cisco worked out super well from Nov to mid-March); no plans for the Cisco office to open; and the light at the end of my tunnel is starting to shine, as I envision a return to the US by the end of June (depending on international travel opening up). Rups and Inga plan to arrive June 15th, when the border officially opens, which will be great for the girls and a help to Andrea.

Still, I’m ready and excited to return to Tahoe. I miss friends, I miss road and mountain riding, I think about the house (landscaping, etc) and rentals (which have been empty since mid-March due to COVID-19, a big loss of $$ but that’s OK), and I can see things slowly going back to normal here with respect to time with the girls. I already see them less due to school and LeichtAthletics, and that will increase once Rups and Inga are here (which is a good thing). Girls have school until July 10; then Lech a week later for a week; then northern Germany a week later, again for a week; then they return to the US. The girls don’t realize how quickly the summer will pass, but they will have much fun, hardly noticing my absence.

I won’t be here to help with moving out of the house, which is unfortunate. Andrea, the girls, Rups and Inga did an amazing job of moving everything into the house in August of 2019 before I had arrived; we’ve never really lacked for anything while here. I have no idea where everything came from, no idea where it goes upon our departure…kinda odd. I’ll help where/if I can, once I know my departure plans.

3 months…6 months…9 months…it flies. This idea that Annika hatched at dinner in November 2018 worked out well. I’m confident the girls think so, and will have many fond memories (as well as an improved command of German). As they grow older, meet more friends as young adults and share childhood stories, I suspect/hope they realize that they have enjoyed some amazing opportunities as children, 2 years of living in Austria being the most obvious example…

Once upon a time the last major gift a father might give to his children – let’s say up to WW II – might be a job, by way of helping them enter the same profession/trade as the parent. Teach them the ropes, introduce them to people, coach them on embracing a life identical to their father, and be content. After WW II there was more social mobility, so some Dad’s might plan financially for his kids to go to college, after which the assumption is the world would be their oyster. Or, for the still respectable blue collar families, ushering the kids into the union trades which had protected the family via the father for many profitable and protected years.

Either way, the point was: for most father’s there was an end to being both financially responsible for your kids, but just as importantly knowing that financial opportunities would come to your children through education, encouraging their dreams and interests, and planting seeds of ambition and responsibility. And this transition to them being self-sufficient began with their graduation from high school (for the blue collar) or college (ideally debt free, for the white collar). This is all very macro dreaming, there are differences at the margins, but the point was that father’s could do their part and plan for college, and the rest (a stable economy, the political environment, a meritocratic system, etc) would take care of itself; indeed, the rest could be ASSUMED.

Let’s say that ended, or at least changed, around 2001, specific to college educated white collar workers.

[I’m not educated in these matters, but I speculate that the good fortune (stable work, good pay, benefits) of blue collar workers stopped ascending in the mid-eighties.]

First, there was the Dot-com crash. Between 1995 and its peak in March 2000, the Nasdaq Composite stock market index rose 400%. I was one of the lucky ones in that group, as I started working at Cisco in March 1993 with 500 shares of Cisco stock to my name that proceeded to split every year (as well as the other stock options that I would receive each year at my annual review), very reliably. I recall some random Spring Sunday in 1995, living so happily in San Francisco, and wanting to understand the stock market better. I researched P/E and all sorts of other mildly esoteric stock concepts, then using the Sunday morning San Francisco Chronicle I chose 3 companies to invest $2000 with, each. And then I forgot about it entirely; not because I lost interest, but because my interest was to buy-and-hold, understand it (slightly) but not think about it (daily, weekly, or even yearly).

Years later, but before March 2000, I finally took a look at those stocks. One was worth around $1500 (so after all that time it LOST $500); one was worth a little more than $2000 (very slight gains); and one was worth $75,000. Stunning. But I learned: investing is smart, long term investing is smarter, and keeping it simple and not obsessing over it smarter still.

But the Dot-com bust taught me another important lesson: make no assumptions. The Nasdaq fell 78% from its peak by October 2002, giving up all its gains during the bubble. The one was I was saved is that those options I received in 1993 (and ’94, and ’95…) HAD to be sold after 4 years. So I made a very handsome profit, not of my doing (given the chance I would have held onto Cisco stock as it plunged during the Dot-com bust).

The stock market prevailed, but the lesson was now in bold letters: you can get burned.

Then, of course, the Great Recession of 2008-2009. Same thing: eventually, if you stayed in the market, it rebounded although it took a few years.

Now, of course, the complete economic shutdown from COVID-19.

But here’s the thing. Even though the markets recover, it takes time, and there is such a thing as being the wrong age at the wrong time. Someone out of college just (say 1-3 years) before the 2001 or 2009 crashes likely found themselves in the exact same financial situation when they were 30 as they were when they were 22. Or if you were 1-3 years from retirement before the 2001 or 2009 crashes, now you might be 8-10 years from retirement. NOTHING can be assumed anymore.

Which gets me to the girls. I’ve prepared to pay their entire college costs, so that they graduate with a clean slate, no debt, and nothing but opportunity ahead. But if this surge/crash cycle continues, as often as it has, I don’t see a clear way for them to improve their lives by financial gain simply by working hard, living simply, and saving and investing as much as possible as time goes on. If their investments go up 100%, only to drop 150%, then all that time in between to get back to 100% is essentially wasted time. Again, I’m being macro (and pessimistic) but it’s on my mind.

Instead of getting the girls through college, then living my life and leaving them with a (hopefully) nice amount upon my passing, now I’m thinking I may need (or more likely want) to be there for them as they go through life’s stages (first new car, first house, first child…). This is not to say that I don’t expect them to be responsible and thrifty and financially smart; it’s to say that in a capitalistic environment like today, where the risk is entirely mitigated by the Government for the very well off while everyone else is on their own to make the right moves (which is a difficult proposition during the emotional rollercoaster of extreme economic turmoil), those that should be deemed winners through long term buying and holding may not be. There are no random $2000 investments turning into $75000 goose eggs anytime soon, no matter long long you hold it.

All things considered, we are hanging in there.

Annika, by far, has the most difficult transition. 17 year olds are extremely social beings, and Annika had already established her much loved routines (driving to school with Efie, seeing Clara(s) at school, soccer practice with her teammates, weekends out with Maria and other friends, etc). So the paradox is that during this time is that we all get to see Annika much more (although not as much as one might assume, given we are all remaining at home 24×7), which is great; and she gets to see us so much more, which isn’t so great.

I wish I could persuade Annika to be less judgmental, more open. In 5 weeks I’ve likely taken a 90 minute hike/walk (from the house, through the woods, along the Glasenbach, extremely soothing) around thirty times, and Annika hasn’t gone once. She’s incapable of measuring the value of 90 minutes out of the house against 90 minutes with me. Andrea and I have done aerobics 5 days a week, compliments of Cisco via a virtual class, and Annika has done none. She dismisses it entirely, which I understand if life were normal; but it’s not, so she’s choosing to what? Spend another hour in her room, another hour on her phone, another hour contemplating the madness of this situation? It’s obviously healthy but I long ago lost the ability to persuade this lovely lady who used to adore me. I obviously worry about her mental health (she’s no more or less vulnerable than every other person in the world) but I’ve concluded that I have to tread VERY carefully as I’m more likely to set her off than to help her release and forget. It’s such a bummer to not have any ability to positively influence someone I love so much.

Niki and Britta are doing much better; they are 12, after all, so very resilient. They immerse themselves in one primary thing, tire of it after 3 or 5 or 7 days, then move on. First it was ping pong, then games (backgammon, cards, rumikub, etc), then playing at the Glasenbach creek, then baking, then swimming…but after 5 weeks they are slightly noticing the repetition, but still I think they absolutely prefer this to what they had. They miss their friends and school and German immersion…they certainly miss Mimi and Opa…but they REALLY like staying up late, sleeping in, not having to run here and there following the schedule Andrea jammed tight with activities, cramming 5 days of homework into ~2 days and then relaxing a ton.

While Annika definitely is not going back to school – she knows it’s over and I’m sure that’s difficult to process – the belief now, absolutely subject to change, is that the schools may start to open in ~3 weeks. No idea how that might work if it does happen; the regular schedule ends the school year on July 10, so there are still nearly 3 months of school left so I can certainly see them returning at some point.

As for me, I’m still so happy to be seeing so much of the girls. I’m certain I’ve spent more time with them these 5 weeks than I have the last 8 months combined, so it really is a gift. I’m able to get my work done as needed, do an hour of aerobics each work day, take my 90 minute hike 5-6 times per week, and drink way too much mocha coffee.

I won’t cover the specifics of the pandemic too much; many excellent books will likely be written to document that.

After a highly infectious coronavirus had spread from a bat (most likely) to a human in the Wuhan province of China at the start of December 2019, it only took weeks for the aggressive virus to widely spread. By the middle of January, when China was well aware of the issue, the virus had escaped China but the world had not been notified of the catastrophe unfolding in China.

Despite much Government attention being given to hypothetical pandemic preparations, the world was slow to respond once the Chinese health community starting providing necessary data (in particular the genome of the virus). By the end of January, after having had only a few weeks to study the virus, most expert epidemiologists and virologists were sounding the alarm. All governments were slow to respond. While China had begun a massive (~750 million people) forced quarantine, governments focused on identifying citizens who had traveled to China. This was foolish. The virus, as explained by the experts, was highly contagious and community spread (people having the virus who had never been to China) was already taking place. It would later be understood that the number of infected people was essentially doubling every week, an unsustainable rate for any population with a vulnerable demographic. And yet governments were only looking for people who had traveled to China…

The entire month of February was lost by governments not taking the experts seriously; by gross negligence on the part of the CDC specific to testing; and by economic forces (the stock market was at an all time high, and shielding the long term economy by strict social distancing and self-quarantining early on – which short term would have slowed the economy – was not a priority). With a dire availability of test kits, Governments were wholly in the dark as to the extent of the contagion, with the number of people dying or requiring ICU care the only metric governments had to go on.

Within the US, with the complete lack of direction being provided at the national level (again, books will be written to shed light on the incompetence shown), states, cities, and companies started acting on their own in the public interest.

On March 9th, as the Trump administration was saying that everything was OK and the contagion would “go away” despite the numbers slowly rising (slowly, again, due to lack of testing), Cisco Headquarters in San Jose (affecting maybe 15,000 people?) forced people to work from home. This is about the time when constructive actions started to happen, globally.

– On March 11 Cisco Europe also instituted a work from home policy (affecting maybe another 15,000 people).
– On March 11 Italy essentially shut down, with 12,462 total cases and 827 dead. 10 days later, despite the lockdown, Italy would have 53,578 total cases and 4,825 dead. For yet unknown reasons (could be the virus or the culture [older people living with younger people in the same family] or not having Communist tools to totally control their population) Italy would quickly surpass China with the highest number of deaths.
– On March 16 Austria essentially closes down.
– On March 20 California essentially closes down.
– etc

The goal was no longer containment; that battle had not been lost, but rather had never been fought. The goal now was mitigation, and specifically to “flatten the curve”, which meant to slow the progression of the COVID-19 disease (caused by this new coronavirus SARS-CoV-2) so that the health care industry would not be overwhelmed, resulting in inadequate care to those who most needed it and therefore more deaths than necessary.

Think about that for a second: the game was over. People were essentially going to be accounted for in 3 ways:

1. Not yet exposed (the assumption is that eventually every human on the planet would be exposed)
2. Exposed (might be very sick, or just sick, or asymptomatic with no symptoms at all)
3. Immune – meaning they had the disease, but are now free from contracting the disease again (at least for 12-24 months, more research required)

So the goal is to slow (but not stop) #1 to allow for sufficient care to be given to the most sick (#2) while ultimately using an antibody test to confirm who (#3) has immunity and can go back to restart the economy.

One example of the many things I’ve read.

http://lifeofannika.com/year/16/images/Salzburg/March/COVID-19/SARS-CoV-2.pdf

From that paper:

The next month is critical: March 16 to April 16. It’s not so dangerous in terms of getting infected personally, but
important in terms of demonstrating we can reduce R0 or increase doubling time.

If we are still doubling each week on April 16, we have only another month to get a second chance.

If that doesn’t work by May 16, there would be no third chance. We would have to immediately clamp down to
avoid hospital overflow. This would require Wuhan-like measures such as central quarantine for sick and enforced
home-isolation for everyone else.

Speaking of the economy, the hit has been brutal.

Amazingly, I’m lucky in this regard. In December 2019 the stock market was on fire (about 29% up for the year) which suggested (to me) that a correction was near. But more importantly the Trump impeachment, an election year, uncertainty in North Korea…I decided to get out of the market by doing what is otherwise completely irrational and NEVER recommended, especially for your long term 401K retirement funds. To be clear: I moved my entire 401K out of stocks and into a US Debt Bond. 3 months later after having sold the stock market is down 29% (for a reason that I never saw coming).

This can’t be emphasized enough. Given my age (57 next month) I am actively considering retirement in the next 5 years. Had I not moved my 401K out of stocks, those plans would be up in smoke. That goes for all other people in my age range, which means millions of people who were at the doorstep of retirement are now looking at an entirely new future, yet unknown. The social and political implications are huge; there will be a degree of bitterness leading to more populist rage than I can imagine.

Here at home, it’s been nearly 7 days since schools closed and we went to a stay-at-home policy. Rups and Inge were here for Andrea’s Birthday, but left early (March 15) before the border between Germany and Austria was to close (March 16). It’s actually been a treat; an intense amount of time together, with the girls getting bored and frustrated at times but they are old enough to resign themselves to this new reality, understanding that the entire world is doing the same. We hang out together, play games, talk, hikes, bike rides, dog walks…pretty cool. Girls seem relaxed, not anxious about all that’s happening. Andrea talks about COVID-19 most of the time, which I don’t think is healthy, especially for the girls. Maybe she’ll get bored with the news soon, too.

Our Spring trip plans to Greece April 4-13 isn’t looking good, which is a huge bummer. I wish I could say it will just be delayed, but I suspect that the pandemic has truncated this entire Austrian adventure. I can easily imagine:

– We shelter in place for months
– The girls don’t return to school, but instead finish the year online, negatively affecting their language immersion.
– The girls don’t see Mimi and Opa for months
– No family vacation to Greece or anywhere else
– Lech in July doesn’t happen
– Andrea’s August plans to northern Germany for Opa’s 80th birthday don’t happen

The (or my) goal for the girls during this year long adventure was language immersion and quality time with grandparents. This triage exercise is negating both of those goals, which really is a shame, a costly loss.

Salzburg has essentially been closed down since Monday. To see what an international tourist destination looks like, take a gander at http://lifeofannika.com/year/16/images/Salzburg/March/COVID-19/

Until then, we will ping-pong on…

Life in the time of COVID-19

Some notes and observations…

My notes at 3 months are here.

Some comments on each.

Annika ~ she seems to be doing well and having fun overall. While she still insists she doesn’t enjoy school, she doesn’t have anything specific to complain about (and in fact complains very little). She seems to like most of her classes & teachers, and while she’s only friendly with 1-2 (both named Clara) other classmates she doesn’t complain about the other students in general. She’s enjoying and succeeding with the online pre-calc class…disappointed that her soccer club was disbanded (but after ~2 months has begun again in a quasi-unofficial capacity, with no games I guess)…and really enjoying her weekends with Maria and friends, going to the clubs and coming home at 4am. Still, she doesn’t sleep in all day on weekends, and while I don’t see her much when I do she seems happy. Annika visited Sol in January during break, and Sol visited Annika on her birthday (which was the only time Annika was lazy and did nothing for an entire day). She went to Vienna to see Milky Chance with Clara from school, and really had a lot of fun. Upon her return she commented to me that she feels like she’s challenging herself socially, breaking out of her being reserved. I’m super happy to hear this – I’m introverted and it really serves no social purpose and is just a hindrance. She’s 17 and for all intents and purposed my parenting is mostly over; Annika is ready to roam free. I think this year will have been transformational for Annika, in all positive ways. The few months before leaving Tahoe she got really drunk twice (commented upon in other blog posts), which was likely a sign of immaturity, boredom, and wanting to fit in. I think Austria has mitigated a lot of those issues – she’s more mature and responsible, not bored, and more comfortable about fitting (or not fitting) in.

Niki & Britta ~ Both are still struggling, which was expected but I was hoping that it wouldn’t last so long. Their primary struggle is language (but that has all sorts of other implications and side effects), and while their speech/reading/writing skills have vastly improved they are still self-conscious enough that their true personalities don’t shine as they don’t talk as much due to language embarrassment. That is improving (their perceptions of themselves are improving), and literally this last week they seem to be acknowledging their increased confidence (talking more, raising their hands in class, etc). Friendships with friends outside of school are still lagging, partly due to the physical distance between us (Elsbethen) and them, partly due to the twins schedule (busy with LeichtAthletic, skiing, etc), and partly due to Andrea just not doing anything to create opportunities. In the last 3 months they have only had only 3 meetings with friends outside of school:

1. Their birthday, where 6 girls came over and they made gingerbread houses
2. One day after school at a friends house to rehearse a skit that they would do with 4 other girls at school
3. A Saturday Euro Park shopping trip with the 4 girls to buy material for the skit

While these opportunities were too few and far in between, it has helped the girls mature and feel more confident with themselves. They also had a weeklong school trip to Obertaurn which they really enjoyed (despite Niki getting sick at the end of the week).

Still, I wonder and worry about the latent stress. Both have a bit of acne, which I think they are too young for. Niki has developed this tic where she looks over her right shoulder, sometimes just a quick glance and other times a full turn of the head. And while Britta quietly perseveres, Niki needs to vent and she can go on and on if you let her. I think it’s important for her to release the pressure, but I also think it’s important for her to manage what’s worth getting bothered over, and what’s not. When I get frustrated with her I have to remind myself she’s only 12…we are expecting her to manage stressful situations that 12 year old’s should not be experiencing.

In February Niki, Britta and I went bowling together on a Sunday evening, and the girls had so much fun. I don’t think it had anything to do with me or bowling, but rather I think it was mostly that for 1-2 hours they could be themselves, and talk English in public and not worry about who is listening. A few weeks later we went to Kart World and same thing, they had a blast. I am confident things will continue to improve, and they will be more outgoing and talkative and positive about their German skills. It’s just painful to watch it take so long, meanwhile their sibling relationship has more dramatic ups and downs since they spend all their time together (so much more than in Tahoe).

For me, the highlight of these 3 months was traveling with the caveat that I didn’t come to Europe so that I could travel everywhere alone….

1. Venice with Mimi & Opa and the girls. This was a lot of fun with the girls.
2. Budapest – an introduction to my European History education
3. Prague – Not as interesting as Prague, but still a good time
4. Paris – a failed attempt to go (no advanced reservations), I made it was far as Munich (dropped Annika off at the airport for Barcelona)
5. Berlin – A fantastic trip, focused on the wall/cold war and WWII/3rd Reich. Intense.
6. Paris, finally. Such a beautiful city

I don’t have any other travel plans as my Eurail pass is almost expired.

While Andrea’s sole motivation seems to be simply hiking or skiing, I’m trying hard to look for other “cultural” (eg urban) opportunities just because we have the chance. I wanted to take the girls to a hockey game, but Andrea and I ended up going with Bill & Robyn who were visiting. Next weekend we’ll go to a soccer RedBull game once more, plus we’ll see Jesus Christ SuperStar. There is also a version of Romeo and Juliet that I will get tickets for, too. There will be more opportunities as Spring approaches…

In summary, things are OK but I admit to already looking forward to returning to Tahoe. My presence here really adds no value to anyone. My tentative plans are to return at the end of June, while the girls will return sometime in August. Due to the work issues last October I have no vacation time, so I wouldn’t be able to do any traveling with the girls over the summer (and anyway I just get in the way).

Let’s hope the next 3 months have a more positive tone from me!

Annika turns 17 tomorrow. Like all birthday’s after 50 years of age, this one puts me in a contemplative mood…

Before more sophisticated marketing took over, at Cisco we used to say we were the plumbing of the Internet. Meaning, just like your toilets and sinks and showers, no one saw where the water went but it was pretty damned important and had better work. Same with digital traffic: no one has a clue where it goes and how it gets there, but it had better damned well work.

Annika is turning 17 and entirely (just as I was at 17) looking forward, looking ahead, expecting adventure and fun and most of all independence when she leaves home on her own for the first and last time in 18 months.

Me? Parenting is a lot like plumbing (well, not really, but stay with me), and I’m looking back at all the plumbing that Annika never saw (it’s all about perspectives) or forgot (too young). There’s surely bad plumbing to be found – when I didn’t give my full attention, when I was impatient, when I was absent, when I was simply wrong. But along the way I did get it right some of the time, and I had front row seats watching Annika (and Niki, and Britta) fall (physically, emotionally, everything), get up, succeed, fail again, hesitate, succeed…on and on. At each step I was celebrating her development, her accomplishment, her graduation…and as years went by these moments came fewer and further between, mostly due to age (we have less physical challenges at 15 than we had at 5) and the intangible (the High School challenges are as much interpersonal, which I apparently can’t help with).

I remember…

– Going from a bottle, so a sippy cup, to her own cup, to pouring her own glass
– Going from lying to crawling to standing to walking to running
– Going from diapers, to underwear, to dressing herself
– Going from hanging on the monkey bars, to 1 bar at a time, to every other hand, to skipping a bar entirely
– Going from the toddler swing to the regular swing being pushed (but not too high!) to being pushed higher to not needing to be pushed at all
– Going from a push bike, to a 2 wheel bike, to no hands
– Going from no homework, to weekly homework with help, to weekly homework with no help, to daily homework with help, to daily homework with no help
– Going from level 2 (gymnastics) to 3, to 4, to 5, to 7
– Going from no opinion to hesitant preferences to “my way or the highway”
– Going from a baby to a toddler to a little girl to a young lady to a young woman

And of course, sadly but expectedly, I remember going from having a vital role in her life to have an important role in her life to being a convenience in her life to being a forced necessity in her life to…well, being an option in her life.

That’s good; it’s a sign of progress, of maturity, of testing independence, of falling down and getting back up all on one’s own.

But you know…on the eve of her 17th Birthday…what I wouldn’t give to have one more spring day at Common’s Beach with my little girl, as we stop going to the indoor Rideout play area and begin to enjoy the warm weather, longer days, and getting on those monkey bars one more time. And Annika looks at me and I think…I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be.

P.S. These contemplations are due to Annika’s 17th birthday, but my thoughts here extend to all you girls. Being your Papa has been the most rewarding experience of my life, and while I have failed you all more times than you know I was always trying to pay attention to those failures, to make them less often….

Pictures

Feb 13-17, toured all around Paris, such a vibrant city. Visited the Lourve, Montmartre, Eiffel tower, Invalides, Arc de Triumph, Picasso museum, Bastille, Notre Dame, Holocast memorial, Lourve gardens, Sacre Courte. I took 3 tours: Montmartre, French Revolution, Napolean.

I’ve been to Paris 3 times before:

1. Christmas 1989, with Arlene who was visiting me after I’d only been in Germany for 2 months. We took a bus tour, which arranged accommodations, but all I recall from that trip is visiting the Notre Dame cathedral on Christmas day.

2. ??. I have to confirm the time, but I went to visit Sherisse who was living in Paris for ~6 months, working on the construction of Euro Disney. I don’t recall much from this trip, either. 🙁

3. With Steffi and friends (Brad and Laurel at least), New Years Eve 1991.

I learned nothing of France during those 3 trips, so I had a lot of homework to do this time around. This is some of what I learned.

During the Iron Age France was inhabited by the Gauls, a Celtic people.
51BC. Rome annexed the area.
476. The Germanic Franks formed the Kingdom of Francia.
843. The Treaty of Verdun partitioned Francia into East Francia, Middle Francia and West Francia.
987. West Francia became the Kingdom of France.
1337-1453. The Hundred Years’ War, essentially between England and France which emerged as a major European power following its victory.
16th century. Dominated by religious civil wars between Catholics and Protestants (Huguenots).
17th Century. France became Europe’s dominant cultural, political, and military power under Louis XIV.
1643-1715. King Louis XIV was King of France. His reign of 72+ years is the longest recorded of any monarch of a sovereign country in European history. With the help of his Mom he slowly transitioned France to an absolute monarchy (meaning parliament and the church were subservient to the Royal court). Money was usually a problem as 1% of the population were Noble and 1% were with the Church, neither of which paid taxes. Louis XIV continued the concept of the divine right of kings from the Middle Ages, the idea that God had granted earthly power to the monarch, just as He had given spiritual authority and power to the church. This is a political and religious doctrine of royal and political legitimacy and was a key element for legitimising many absolute monarchies.
1681-1685. Louis dramatically increased the persecution of Protestants.
– banned emigration and effectively insisted that all Protestants must be converted
– issued the Edict of Fontainebleau which revoked the Edict of Nantes and repealed all Protestant privileges.
– no longer tolerated the existence of Protestant groups, pastors, or churches in France. No further churches were to be constructed, and those already existing were to be demolished.
It wasn’t until the 1787 Edict of Versailles (also known as the Edict of Tolerance) under Louis XVI which restored to non-Catholics their civil rights and the freedom to worship openly. After the French Revolution Protestants were granted equal rights with their Roman Catholic counterparts.
1682. The Declaration of the clergy of France increased royal authority at the expense of papal power. King Louis XIV moved the Royal Court from the Louvre to the Palace of Versailles; by compelling many members of the nobility to inhabit Palace of Versailles, he succeeded in pacifying the aristocracy and achieved increased control over the French aristocracy. For a little more than 100 years the Palace of Versailles was the seat of government for France. In some ways this may have been the start of the Revolution 100 years later; with the court in Versailles, the populace felt disconnected from the monarchy.
1689-1815. The “Second Hundred Years’ War”, almost continuous level of worldwide conflict mostly between France and Great Britain.
1756-1763. The Seven Years’ War. The four greatest powers “switched partners” and split Europe into two coalitions:
A. Great Britain, Prussia, Portugal. Britain aligned itself with Prussia, in a series of political manoeuvres known as the Diplomatic Revolution, which was the reversal of longstanding alliances in Europe around 1750 triggered by a separation of interests between Austria, Britain, and France. Austria went from an ally of Britain to an ally of France, while Prussia became an ally of Britain. The change was part of the stately quadrille, a constantly shifting pattern of alliances throughout the 18th century.
B. vs France, the Austrian-led Holy Roman Empire, Russia, Spain, and Sweden. France and Austria put aside their ancient rivalry to form a grand coalition of their own to curtail Britain’s and Prussia’s influence. This was also centered on Austria’s desire to recover Silesia (mostly in Poland), which had been a part of the Austrian Habsburg Monarchy since 1526 but was conquered by Prussia in 1742.
C. Holland, Denmark-Norway, Italy, and the Ottoman Empire did not participate

1. 1754–1756. The British attacked disputed French positions in North America
2. 1756. The Treaty of Versailles between France and Austria offering mutual assistance if attacked by Great Britain or Prussia; this is despite the France–Habsburg rivalry. The Habsburgs were the largest and most powerful royal house of the Holy Roman Empire, controlling (principally through marriage) the Habsburg Netherlands (1482-1794), Habsburg Spain (1504–1700) and the Holy Roman Empire (1438–1806). All these lands formed the Habsburg ring around France causing border friction. The rivalry became a cause for several major wars, including the Italian Wars 1494–1559; the Thirty Years’ War 1618–1648; the Nine Years’ War 1688–1697; the War of Spanish Succession (1701-1714), the War of Austrian Succession (1740–1748), and later the Napoleonic Wars (1803-1815).
3. 1756. Realizing that war was imminent, Prussia pre-emptively struck Saxony and formed an alliance with Britain
4. 1757. The Holy Roman Empire declared war on Prussia. Reluctantly, most of the states of the empire joined Austria’s cause.
5. 1762. Russia, originally aligned with Austria, switched sides upon the succession of Tsar Peter III.

Losses:
Prussia: 260,000+
Great Britain: 135,000+
Austrian: 373,588
French: 350,000+
Russia: 138,000
Spain 34,000+
Sweden 28,000

Penalty:
France cedes its possessions east of the Mississippi River, Canada, the island of Grenada, and the Northern Circars in India to Great Britain.
France cedes Louisiana and its territory west of the Mississippi River to Spain.
Spain cedes Florida to Great Britain.
1774. Louis XVI becomes King at 20 years old; he was never groomed for the role, as he had 2 older brothers but they were both killed.
1789-1799. French Revolution. The fortress Bastille (a prison, where armory was also stored) was stormed by Parisian rioters effectively starting the Revolution which eventually (1792) overthrew the absolute monarchy, establishing one of modern history’s earliest republics and drafting the Declaration of the Rights of Man and of the Citizen. The Louvre was then converted to a museum. It was prefaced by the National Council, a progressive movement of ministers meeting in Versailles. The grassroots effort at reform never took off, as progressive ministers were being bribed by the King, who was returned to Louvre and forced to remain there for 2 years. When Louis tried to escape France but was caught, he was beheaded and things got worse. That’s when most people fully gave up on the idea of working within a monarchy. There was non-stop power turmoil; Religion was outlawed (and the Gregorian calendar was not followed for a few years), ministers vying for power would align then betray others. In 1792 France, needing money, took money from the church. Europe monarchies were threatened by anti-monarchy movement in France and thus France was fighting both a civil war (commons vs nobility) and a Royal war (commons vs Europe). Finally Napoléon, a powerful and popular General by this time, was handed power and became a benevolent dictator with a hand picked parliament.
1804-1814. Napoleon established the First French Empire. Napoleonic Wars with about all of Europe.
1812. Napoleon attacked Russia and ultimately was defeated, exiled to an island (twice)
1815–1830. The Bourbon monarchy was re-established, with new constitutional limitations and Louis younger brother at the helm.
1830. The July Revolution, overthrow of Charles X by his cousin Louise Phillip, a shift from one constitutional monarchy to another, which established the constitutional July Monarchy.
1848. The February Revolution and the end of the July Monarchy and the start of the (more conservative) Second Republic.
1852. The president of the French Republic, Louis-Napoléon Bonaparte, Napoleon I’s nephew, was proclaimed emperor of the second Empire, as Napoleon III. He suspended the elected assembly, establishing the Second French Empire, and he went on to become the de facto last French monarch.
1870. Franco-Prussian War. The French declared war on Prussia due to Prussian ambitions to extend German unification and shift the European balance of power. The German forces were superior in numbers, had better training and leadership and made more effective use of modern technology, particularly railroads and artillery. Napoleon III was captured and the army of the Second Empire decisively defeated. A third empire was immediately created and moved its capital to Tours as Paris was under siege. France ultimately lost most of Alsace and some parts of Lorraine to Germany. French determination to regain Alsace-Lorraine along with British apprehension about the balance of power became factors in the causes of World War I (as well as post WWI).
1871. The Paris Commune, a radical socialist and revolutionary government that ruled Paris for 2 months in 1871 after the Franco-Prussian War. It was bloodily suppressed by the regular French army at the end of May 1871. Karl Marx described the Paris Commune as an example of the “dictatorship of the proletariat”.
1875. Sacré-Cœur construction begins. The origins of the Church are contrversial; it is seen as a double monument, political and cultural, both a national penance for the defeat of France in the 1870 Franco-Prussian War and for the subsequent Paris Commune of 1871, as well as an embodiment of conservative moral order (which some attribute to the Church simply wanting the monarchy to return). At this time calls for the re-establishment of the monarchy dominated, but growing support for the republican form of government among the French populace and a series of republican presidents in the 1880s gradually quashed prospects of a monarchical restoration. Republicanism in the 1870s was considered “the form of government that divides France least”; however, politics under the Third Republic were sharply polarized. On the left stood Reformist France, heir to the French Revolution. On the right stood conservative France, rooted in the peasantry, the Roman Catholic Church and the army. The Third Republic endured for seventy years.
1889 – French engineer Gustave Eiffel spent two years working to erect this iconic monument for the World Exhibition
1914-1918. WWI. France exacts revenge on Germany at the Treaty of Versailles.
1940. Occupation by Germany.
1944. A Fourth Republic was established and later dissolved in the course of the Algerian War (1954-1962, which led to Algeria winning its independence from France. It was an important decolonization war).
1958. The Fifth Republic, led by Charles de Gaulle. Algeria and nearly all the other colonies became independent in the 1960s, with most retaining close economic and military connections with France.

Pictures

In 1989, by sheer happenstance, I was new to Germany just as the wall, (built starting in 1961 by the USSR, as a way of preventing mass emigration by people opposed to communist oppression) which physically separated East and West Berlin, and virtually separated all of Eastern Europe with Western Europe, was “coming down” as they say. I visited Berlin in Nov (with Sheila) and Dec 1989 (with Arlene), and was riveted by experiencing history in the moment. I ran the Berlin Marathon in September 1990, which was noted for being the first time the race would be run through the “new” Berlin (comprised of the old East Berlin and the modern West Berlin).
 
Today Berlin, with about 3.7 million residents, is the second most populous city of the European Union after London.

Some historical cheat notes, to bring us up to speed.

Prussia was a German kingdom between 1701 (due to Frederick III upgrading Prussia from a duchy to a kingdom, crowning himself King Frederick I) and 1918 (end of WWI) and was the driving force behind the unification of Germany in 1871 . Although it took its name from the region called Prussia, it was based in the Margraviate of Brandenburg, where its capital was Berlin.

The Holy Roman Empire (loosely considered the first Reich) was effectively dissolved when Emperor Francis II abdicated (6 August 1806) during the War of the Third Coalition. In 1814–15 after the Napoleonic Wars the Congress of Vienna endorsed Austrian dominance in Central Europe. The negotiators at Vienna took no account of Prussia’s growing strength within and among the German states and so failed to foresee that Prussia would rise to challenge Austria for leadership of the German peoples. Thus German dualism (the problem of unification): Kleindeutsche Lösung, the small Germany solution (Germany without Austria), or Großdeutsche Lösung, the greater Germany solution (Germany with Austria).

Specific to Berlin, the Brandenburg gate was commissioned by Frederick William II of Prussia and built between 1788 and 1791. The Victory Column was intended to commemorate the Prussian victory in the Danish-Prussian War, but by the time it was inaugurated on 2 September 1873 Prussia had also defeated Austria in the Austro-Prussian War (1866) and France in the Franco-Prussian War (1870–71). The unification of Germany into a nation state (loosely considered the second or Deutsches Reich) officially occurred on 18 January 1871 at the Palace of Versailles. Princes of the German states, excluding Austria-Hungary, gathered there to proclaim William I of Prussia as German Emperor after the French capitulation in the Franco-Prussian War.

The German revolutions of 1848–49 the opening phase of which was also called the March Revolution, were initially part of the Revolutions of 1848 that broke out in many European countries. They were a series of loosely coordinated protests and rebellions in the states of the German Confederation, including the Austrian Empire. The revolutions, which stressed pan-Germanism, demonstrated popular discontent with the traditional, largely autocratic political structure of the thirty-nine independent states of the Confederation that inherited the German territory of the former Holy Roman Empire. This process began in the mid 1840’s. The middle-class elements were committed to liberal principles, while the working class sought radical improvements to their working and living conditions. As the middle class and working class components of the Revolution split, the conservative aristocracy defeated it. Liberals were forced into exile to escape political persecution, where they became known as Forty-Eighters. Many emigrated to the United States, settling from Wisconsin to Texas.

The Dual Alliance in October 1879 was a defensive alliance between Germany and Austria-Hungary, as part of Bismarck’s system of alliances to prevent or limit war. The two powers promised each other support in case of attack by Russia. When Austria stumbled into WW1, Germany obligingly followed.

After WWI the republic became known as the Weimar Republic (1918 to 1933); the name derives from the city of Weimar, where its constitutional assembly first took place. The Weimar Republic faced numerous problems, including hyperinflation, political extremism as well as contentious relationships with the victors of the First World War. Resentment in Germany towards the Treaty of Versailles was strong especially on the political right. The Weimar Republic fulfilled most of the requirements of the Treaty of Versailles and accepted the western borders of the country by abandoning irredentist claims on France and Belgium, but continued to dispute the eastern borders and sought to persuade Austria to join Germany as one of Germany’s states. The Great Depression, exacerbated by Chancellor Heinrich Brüning’s policy of deflation, led to a surge in unemployment. In 1933 President Paul von Hindenburg appointed Adolf Hitler as Chancellor with the Nazi Party being part of a coalition government. The Nazis held two out of the remaining ten cabinet seats. Chancellor Franz von Papen was intended to be the “éminence grise” who would keep Hitler under control, using his close personal connection to Hindenburg. Within months, the Reichstag Fire Decree and the Enabling Act of 1933 had brought about a state of emergency: it wiped out constitutional governance and civil liberties. Hitler’s seizure of power (Machtergreifung) was permissive of government by decree without legislative participation. These events brought the republic to an end—as democracy collapsed, the founding of a single-party state began the dictatorship of the Nazi era.

The formal abolition of Prussia, carried out on 25 February 1947 by the fiat of the Allied Control Council referred to an alleged tradition of the kingdom as a bearer of militarism and reaction, and made way for the current setup of the German states. However, the Free State of Prussia (Freistaat Preußen), which followed the abolition of the Kingdom of Prussia in the aftermath of World War I, was a major democratic force in Weimar Germany until the nationalist coup of 1932 known as the Preußenschlag.

My thoughts.
 
While much of Eastern Europe has century long tales of subjugation by Monarchies and Aristocracies, Religion, or horrific dictator’s, Berlin has the added distinction of hosting the worst of human impulses – namely the Third Reich, from 1933-1945. Hitler’s failed (but still disastrous) attempts at growth (real estate acquisition by force), dictatorial petulance (purging all political dissent [people, newspapers, community and business organizations] as well as persecution of religious super-minorities like the Quakers, by having them all removed to what ultimately became concentration camps), and genetic purification (by euthanizing the mentally and physically handicapped; exterminating homosexuals, gypsies, and of course Jews from all across Europe) are all numbing.
 
After enduring a front row seat to the worst that humanity has to offer in the goriest of details, it’s no wonder that about 60% of Berliners have no religious affiliation (Berlin, like Prague, is considered one of the most atheist enclaves of Europe, with the largest religious groups being Protestants (19%) followed by Roman Catholics (9%)).
 
While Berlin enjoyed some European dominance and stature by the usual custom of war mongering during the German (then Prussia) years (mostly 18th and 19th centuries, kicking a little Danish, Austrian, and French butt along the way), it was their (in hindsight) ill conceived alliance with Austria (a defensive move against Russian aggression) that catapulted Germany into World War I. In the end, having lost a battle against the same foes that Germany (Prussia) had vanquished in wars past, these vindictive foes (France amongst them) sought vengeance at the Treaty of Versailles, taking Germany out at the knees. After WWI and 15 subsequent years of hyperinflation, high unemployment and political extremism, the German people were eager to support an extreme demagogue (Hitler) who preyed on their populist desire for the return to a strong national identity (I’m being very simplistic here, but anyway). The implications were immediate (emphasis on immediate).
  
This 2020 trip to Berlin, unlike 1989, was removed from any immediate import and instead allowed me to look in the historical rear view mirror, aghast at all the atrocities. From 1933-1945 Berlin was home to the gold standard of a colossal race to the bottom in terms of ethics and morality and humanity and decency and…I was reminded of this during a sober tour of the Sachsenhausen concentration camp (http://lifeofannika.com/year/16/images/Salzburg/Papa/Berlin/Sachsenhausen), just outside of Berlin, as well as a tour of the Topography of Terror museum (http://lifeofannika.com/year/16/images/Salzburg/Papa/Berlin/WWII). Then from 1945-1989 Berlin was front and center for uninvited Communist hosts, who short of employing concentration camps still leveraged many of the tools available to paranoid sophisticated barbarians (http://lifeofannika.com/year/16/images/Salzburg/Papa/Berlin/ColdWar).
 
So I’ll grant a pass to the atheist (or at least agnostic) Berliners, who have first hand experience to doubt the potential of mankind, despite their new government building (http://lifeofannika.com/year/16/images/Salzburg/Papa/Berlin/Reichstag) which is meant to demonstrate transparency of the elected. Who knows what tomorrow brings…