Thoughts from the Trifecta

North Tahoe High School provides this great service for all grades, to include Freshman (which is where I think it has the most value). They sit you down and ask about your goals, your motivations. They map out your class schedule for the entire 4 years. The emphasis is on maintaining goals: per class, per year, for 4 years. The message is clear: you are here for a purpose, this is a journey, and it needs to be taken seriously.

And, of course, Annika stood to the challenge. Talked about gymnastics, about college, about how her grades are important to her.

And with that, here is the result. There may be slight changes, but this is all Annika’s intent – she didn’t try to avoid any challenges (look at all the AP’s).

High School Curriculum

Niki, Britta and I spent the past weekend together mostly at home, and while playing The Game Of Life I recognized (again) characteristics of Britta that being a smile to my face. To wit:

– Britta loves to be the banker; I think it is party the responsibility, and partly that she keeps busy and is fully involved in the game. Analytical.

– Britta will always be one step ahead. As the banker she notes in advance that the next player will soon pass a payday, so she will have the money ready to give to them right after the spin. [Actually, she was giving the money to you prior to the spin, but I asked her to slow it down and wait as it could be a bit confusing.] Attention to detail.

– When it is her turn Britta will spin, and before the wheel has stopped she will move her piece one place and then wait – the implication being she knows she is going to at least move once. Meticulous.

– When it is her turn and she is one space away from some Stop (getting married, night school, having kids, etc) she will simply move to the space and save the time of a spin. Logical.

Love it!

We are an innocent bystander when it comes to the genesis of many a kid adventure. Take fostering dogs, for example.

One day I offer to take Kai G home after school; harmless. Kai invites us in to look at the 2 puppies that he is fostering, and it turns potentially harmful, in the blink of an eye.

The next thing I know I’m attending trainings (introductory; cat; dog; then foster – for a total of about 6 hours) at the Truckee Humane Society, and on Nov 10th we bring home 2 adorable puppies (part shepherd/collie) which are promptly named Louis and Lila.

And immediately – at least with Mama, Niki, and Britta – it becomes a quest to convince Papa we should keep them.

Now, the word “foster” is not a synonym for “adopt”. Just ain’t.

As time goes on and I unwittingly morph into the bad guy, they keep trying to read clues as to my breaking. Not happening.

Finally, the time comes to return the puppies. Only I neglected (not strategically) to tell everyone the return was pushed back from Monday to Tuesday. So Sunday night emotions are running high, no one is talking to me, and I’m exasperated and reclusive.

Monday morning I realize their emotions had pinnacled due to their thinking D-day was here. It wasn’t, which is where I get to the subject at hand (“The resiliency of kids”).

It was as if Niki and Britta were emotionally spent, had no interest in wallowing in another day of misery, and so they moved on. They were still playing with and taking care of the pups (they were fantastic the entire 18 days), but it was about celebration and not misery. Tuesday the pups are returned (immediately Lila is adopted by Tyler from Squaw; Louis was missed by the twins friend Ella and instead went to the pizza place owners in Homewood) and Britta mentions nonchalantly that it’s good Tyler got Lila since he doesn’t have kids and needs someone/thing around the house.

The resiliency of kids.

In a morbid way, this cheers me up – not because I’m no longer evil; not because this may mean that we will be able to adopt again (it can only get easier, right?); – but because I realize that should my demise be earlier than I hope, it will be OK. They will survive. And thrive.

I do realize I am equating my role in their lives to the role of these short term puppies. Anyway.

The resiliency of kids is really a special thing; I’d argue it’s an important product of evolution, except that it doesn’t seem to stick (adults don’t always show similar levels of resiliency).

I was genuinely concerned this would be a black mark on Papa’s long term report card. Instead I think I received a solid C; maybe even a B-.

All good.

For the summer of 2017 the girls were gone, as usual, to Europe for 6 weeks. However, before they left the girls enjoyed brief trips on Lake Tahoe in our neighbor Sonya’s boat (to include watching the fireworks on July 4). After each time on the boat the girls (the twins especially) were begging that we get a boat.

Papa’s live to make their girls happy, spoil them with anything they ask.

So while the girls were gone I went to work, researching boats (ski/wake boats in particular). This was the heart, the hare, in action.

I found about 20, and decided to wait until after Labor Day weekend, when I assumed the prices would drop, possibly dramatically. This was the head, the tortoise, slowly catching up.

Labor Day comes and goes, and a few of the boats are no longer for sale (sold?), very few (as in 1) has dropped its price, and the rest are unchanged.

Then the head notices that Fall seems to have started earlier this year, with cooler temps…and Annika, now in High School, starts school at 7:30 instead of 8:30…and while the Tahoe boating season is realistically only 5 months long, it’s really shorter than that (minus 6 weeks for Europe, minus those school days when Annika has to be there so early)…and, really, Mama would be the one to most be in a position to take advantage of the boat…

[The tortoise takes the lead; the hare is off dallying somewhere]

Sigh. Consumption should be easier than this.

Big, empty, quiet house. It’s clean and uncluttered. And big. And empty. And quiet. Really quiet.

You girls are gone; off to Europe to see Mimi and Opa.

I know what’s in store for me, and yet I’m always mildly unprepared. I know it’s going to be quiet, yet the silence still over powers.

A few notes.

1. The lead up. ~2 months ago, in a fit of early onset pity, I made a few comments to you girls intended to let you know what my reality is like when you’re all gone. You are all old enough now, and wonderfully empathetic humans, to feel bad for me. I realized the error of my ways and never indulged in the pity trip again. While I am miserable while your gone, I’m vested in the purpose and success of these trips; I don’t want any of you to be sad on my behalf while in Europe, even in a passing moment. I want you to have fun, planting memories and being consumed by the quality time with Mimi and Opa. But the self-pity is hard to suppress; it visits me every day the few weeks prior to your leaving.

2. The purpose. You may always wonder why I usually don’t go to Europe as well, at least for some portion of your trip. Plenty of people ask that, too. The answer is simple: my presence will dilute the experience you should be having – maximum time with your wonderful grandparents Mimi and Opa, without distractions borne by me; maximum language immersion, without English detours on my behalf; maximum cultural immersion (both in Germany and Austria), without me wanting to invest my vacation time in a trip to France, or Italy, or Spain. I would love to go with you to Europe, and we will in the future once Mimi and Opa are not able to do as much with you as they can today. But right now it’s about you, about Mimi and Opa, and about fostering the bonds between you and them. Priceless.

3. The departure. Last year, for the first time, I wept at the airport; I was really sad. This time I didn’t cry, sorta by design. I think due to #1 above, I distracted myself – needed to appear strong. We kept the goodbye short, and with security blocking all vision I turned to leave right away. It sucks that Dad’s need to appear strong- or that I thought I need to appear strong.

4. The time. It goes very slow; I organize my weekdays in this dull (for others, not me) repetition of events: wake up, feed the dogs, walk them on the Big Pine loop. Check work emails, then ride my bike up Blackwood Canyon. I really do enjoy the ride, and enjoy the exertion and the feeling of exhaustion, but in the end it’s well under 2 hours time; most of the day is still before me. Work for a few more hours, then take a mtn bike ride through Paige Meadows with Kino in the afternoon. After this is where it can get slow; with most of my work complete, the day is still long but I’m sufficiently tired from the biking. So what to do? Sometimes watch a movie, or read a book, or check the news. Almost every summer Mike comes to Tahoe for a week during this time, so I’ll go there at nights as a wonderful distraction. By Friday I’m usually eager to get away from the house and all it’s quiet reminders; I may go to Napa, or Sacramento to see Rich or Kel, or Concord to see Russ. Just gotta leave, to break things up. Even then, tennis with Rick on Friday and Sunday mornings means I leave after tennis on Friday, but return Sat night so that I can play tennis Sunday; so my respite is only about 36 hours. Solitary confinement in a large house is still solitary confinement.

5. Communication. This is the worst part; distance apart is bad enough, but me not having any control over when I can talk with you is tough. I would love to have a short chat every night before you go to bed, but Opa’s predilection towards frugality means no wireless internet at the apartment – even if I offer to pay for it myself. It’s not unusual for me to only speak with you 3 times during your 6 weeks away; heart breaking, and entirely out of my control without anyone in Europe there to protect my interests.

I tell myself it will go quick, which it never does – until it’s the day before your return, and I clean the house and get things ready. Only then am I in the position to conclude…yeah, it went by fast.

Until then, I’ll miss, and I’ll love, and I’ll await, you all.

It’s hard not to be dramatic about 8th grade graduation.

I’m told by reliable sources that the high school years scream by in a flash – plus once they start driving you have even less time together as their chauffeur, so the memories will be fewer and farther between.

I don’t want this. Annika is so much fun now, so beautiful to watch and hang out with. No work, no effort, so easy, so much dividend being payed back…

If I think of it Annika has already had a number of “graduations”. It started with the monkey bars at Commons Beach; she would always be up for an afternoon there, to play and work on the monkey bars. Once she had them there was one less reason to go to Commons Beach, and we soon stopped…when I go there now I’m fixated with the monkey bars, remembering when…

There was the play area at Rideout Community Center. For both Annika and the twins it was a common place to go in the winter to play while Andrea was working. We had so much fun there…until one winter they didn’t want to return (they thought they had outgrown it, I disagreed)…in Fall 2017 the twins will have their 4th grade at Rideout while the Tahoe Lake school is renovated, and I’m sure when I take my 4th graders to school I will be overrun with memories of them (and Annika) as toddlers…

Graduations. An indication of success and accomplishments and growth. It’s the growth part that’s…sobering.

And I know Annika has such a different perspective, as all teenagers do at that age; it’s all about looking ahead (growth is a good thing, she’s getting closer to driving)!

People tell me to appreciate these years; if I could I would voluntarily over-appreciate them, but I just can’t get enough.

In Nov 2006, when Annika was 3.5 years old, we enrolled her in “My Playground”, which was the precursor to Truckee Gymnastics. At home Annika was already physical and gifted. Annika flourished at My Playground, and was always committed to working hard and having fun.

Gym Camp @ 6 years old

Gym @ 8 years old

Around the summer of 2011 “My Playground” moved to a larger building, and formally added gymnastics (now called Truckee Gymnastics). Annika was so happy, having a bigger gym with more opportunities. Annika @ 9; Gym camp @ 10; Annika @ 11.

Annika started competing at Level 4 when she was 11 in 2014; Gold Country in Grass Valley, Sept 2014 and Oroville in Feb 2015. In the Fall of 2014 Annika got to compete in the NorCal State championships in Oroville – what an accomplishment, and it just fed her passion for gymnastics.

At 12 she competed at Level 5, and continued the next year at level 5 at Spirit of the Flame. She did not compete in the Level 5 NorCal State Championships, mostly due to timing. She started Level 5 in the Fall of 2015, and did not score high enough to make the States Championships that Fall. By Spring of 2016 she scored high enough to be promoted to Level 7, whose Championships would not be until Spring 2017.

By the time she was 13 Annika was competing at Level 7; the competition season changed from Fall to Spring, and one of her thrills was to compete in Vegas.

At Vegas Annika earned a spot to compete at the NorCal State Championships in April 2017. However, 2 weeks before the meet she injured her ring finger during PE at school. For those two weeks she still went to practice, yet was unable to do much due to her finger injury. By the time States came, her finger felt better and Annika was excited to compete and to try and qualify for Regionals in SoCal.

It didn’t happen. She had a great floor routine, scoring 9.0. Her vault looked good, but her score was a low 8.4. An bars things went badly; gripping the bar was too painful with her finger, and she ended up in tears and with a score of 5. She had to pass on beam. The few days after States Annika would randomly break down in tears, so upset about how poorly she did, and not giving herself any slack due to the injured finger.

There were 2 nagging issues throughout her gymnastics career; one that Annika was aware of, one she was not.

The issue that Annika knew of concerned the facilities: while they were more than sufficient when Annika was 8, they were insufficient for a level 5 (or 7) gymnast. In particular, the floor was too small, and too hard.

In January 2016, right after a meet in Reno, Annika broke down and shared her disappointments. She wanted to work harder and proceed faster and be able to practice on a “real” floor. She decided she needed to move. We spent one day in Reno, looking at 5-6 different gyms. They were all huge – sometimes 4-5 times larger than Truckee, with more than one of everything (bars, beams, vaults, even floors). Driving to Reno would be difficult, but it seemed the right thing to do. Annika decided she liked Deltchev the best, so we went for one full practice. Annika ended that session on a cloud; the coaches were great, the girls were nice, the facilities amazing. Later that week we went for a second practice, and Annika turned 180 degrees: she wanted to return to Truckee. In the end I think it was the social factor; she missed Kira, Natalie, and Maddy. While I wasn’t that happy about the idea of driving to Reno 4-5 times a week, I was also not that happy about Annika returning to Truckee either. I knew that gymnastics was very important to her, and I also knew that Truckee was not going to get her there.

The one issue Annika did not know about concerned the viability of the competition team. From the start the team was small; and it never grew. Whereas other competitions teams had multiple coaches focusing on individual events, Truckee had a single coach (Michelle, then Christina) responsible for all levels (4,5,6,7) and all events. With on average 4 girls on the entire team, and no visible growth in the future, it didn’t look like the team could continue to exist.

Which brings us to today, April 3rd 2017, which is when Truckee announced that it will cease the competition team, and focus on Xcel. We told Annika last night, and it crushed her. The twins were so upset on behalf of Annika that they were a mess as well. Heartbreaking. It’s only been 3 days since her poor showing at States, so this news is a double blow.

I want so badly for her to continue; her options now are staying at Truckee with Xcel Diamond, or moving to a gym in Reno. I don’t know what she will decide, but I do think it’s important for her to continue gymnastics and chase her dreams which for a long time now has been to compete in gymnastics in College.

Truckee whet her appetite, but it was never going to be able to get Annika to where she wants to go; in particular, Annika has always been willing to work much more than what the Truckee team could provide.

What to do…

Last weekend were the end of season U10 ski championships at Squaw for the twins.

Thursday was Big G; Britta ended in 27th place, Niki was .4 seconds behind in 33rd. Apparently since Britta didn’t get a medal, Niki was OK that Britta had beater her.

Friday was Giant Slalom; Britta medaled with 6th place, while Niki was 9.71 seconds behind in 30th place.

Saturday was slalom with stubbies; Britta medaled with 9th place, while Niki was 2.06 seconds behind in 17th place.

Sunday was PSL PDS; Britta medaled with 12th place, while Niki was 2.45 seconds behind in 31st place.

Boom. Boom. Boom.

Heartbreaking. Not only had Niki lost to Britta every race; not only had Britta medaled 3 times; but Niki didn’t even medal once, as a sort of consolation. After her first stubby run on Saturday Niki was in 8th place, well ahead of Britta. But her second run was too slow, bumping her out of medal contention.

Heartbreaking.

Niki really took it tough. When she was with other friends (all of which had done worse than Niki) she was in a great mood. It was only when she was with Britta that her disappointment prevented her from being happy for Britta.

Niki pleaded through tears that she had trained hard, was taking it seriously, wanted so badly to do well and really tried her best…it was a delicate time for us, since we needed to compliment and congratulate Britta (who kept saying “I’m so proud of myself”, but always in a soft tone so Niki wouldn’t hear) while at the same time acknowledging Niki’s disappointment.

Niki insisted all weekend long that Britta was better than her at everything, and nothing we said would contradict her conclusions.

What a bummer. You want so much for your children, to be successul at everything they set their mind to, but in the end it’s up to them. And at 9 years old, they are starting to figure that out. No room for bullshit.

http://lifeofannika.com/Niki/year/9/images/U10Championships/

http://lifeofannika.com/Britta/year/9/images/U10Championships/

People will be talking about this for a long time; this is my summary for you girls to reference back to.

– Most snow in January; 237″ (nearly 20 feet!!)
– Broke the January record from 1973 (which was only 159″)
– Broke all monthly records (highest had been March ’92 with 201″)
– 21 days of school; 10 were cancelled due to snow days

As for February, we received 143 inches, which is the snowiest February since 1998, & the 3rd snowiest since 1970. That brings the season total to 470 inches which is 115% of the seasonal average.

I was busy shoveling (the roof and the decks) snow; blowing snow; driving our treacherous hill (I wrecked the Sienna when I hit Willy Dodge in the street plow from behind); and driving to Truckee (gymnastics!) as if it were just another month of the year.

The entire time you girls played…and played…and played. You were so happy, loved the snow days, and led the sort of unencumbered life like kids are supposed to.